Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
