I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize