guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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