maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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