Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
