butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
