Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize