I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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