You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
