remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
