I am spending my child support on dildos
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And then he peed in my hair
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
