im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
