my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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