youre lurking in front of me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
