never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
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Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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