grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
