Kiss
Puke
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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