Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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