Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
