i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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