oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
