And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
