if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
