Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
