PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
