i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
