he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
