This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
