He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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