you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize