If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
