No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
