I could have mohawked her pubes.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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