I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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