Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
