Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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