C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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