Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
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Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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