Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
