Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
