I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
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It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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