Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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