At least make sure they are 18
Why
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
