3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
