Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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