He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
