she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
