I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
