dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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