No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
