guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
