k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
