Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize
