sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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