It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Its about making memories worth repressing
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I am one with the molecules
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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