I got chris browned last night
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And then my night got REAL pukey
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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