If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
