that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
