My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
this is an emotional support booty call
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
