i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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