i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
