I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
