You're my little dorito
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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