i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
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Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
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Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize