Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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