I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
