i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
