Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
