The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize