What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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