im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
