My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.