i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
