Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize