She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
