I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
